Employees talk about why they were fired. Here are the parts they may have left out.

Our old friend, the Daily Mail, had an article this week about a Whisper thread in which employees talked about the crazy reasons their employers fired them. Some are truly appalling:

"I was fired for being in a coma because I didn't call out."

This is an outrage! But as I read on, my mind couldn't help imagining the employers' sides to these stories. Here are some of the Whisper postings (in bold) with my "asides" in red:

"I was fired for being in a coma because I didn't call out for six months after I'd been released to return to work and was finally caught by some of my co-workers twerking on top of a bar."

"I was fired for taking time off to grieve for my grandfather when he died for the 18th time."

"I got fired because I started to gain weight and didn't 'fit in' any more . . . I worked at Dunkin's [sic] Donuts." It's not my fault that I couldn't keep my hands off the merchandise.

"I got fired from my first firm because I beat the head attorney with a baseball bat on a lead case!" Uh, dude, you're not supposed to be "adversaries" with a lawyer in your own firm.

"I was fired for sexual harassment for asking if a coworker was sunburnt." She yelled when I came up behind her and playfully snapped the back of her bra - what else was I to think?

"I was fired because a kid fell when I smacked him. I worked in the toddler room at a daycare and the kid was learning to walk. No matter how many times I smacked him, he just wouldn't learn. What an idiot. He fell and got hurt. His mom said I was a danger to her child." No wonder the kid's a mess. Total mama's boy.

"I was fired for being a 'contagious disease of negativity.'" 'Nuff said.