The noted football lover, Karl Lagerfeld, once said, “Clear thinking at the wrong moment can stifle creativity.” (This coming from a man who has dressed in the same outfit for 50 years.) This year, the marketers have thrown away the playbooks, sidestepped clear thinking and used Bill Belichik-like creativity to come up with some fun promotional contests for Super Bowl Sunday:

Get Your Hands Off My Car. Not since the days of Otto Graham have kids flocked around a car with their hands firmly planted hoping to make it into overtime and win that precious hotrod. Mercedes-Benz has updated this contest for the 21st century. Starting at game time you can win a 2018 Mercedes-AMC Coupe by being the “Last Fan Standing” by keeping your finger on an image of the vehicle on your smartphone.

Because we are lawyers, at least I am, it’s always interesting to see what fun provisions are included in the Official Rules:

  • During the contest, the image on the screen will change and there will be “other distractions.” (So keep your eyes on the Android not on Amendola.)
  • You can get a “Timeout” if you share on Twitter.
  • The game must last at least 20 minutes. (Or only 1/10 of the halftime show.)

A Tribute to John Blutarsky. Nothing says college like beer. Natural Light is calling all current and former Delta Tau Chi members to post a video describing their “inspiration for going to college” while incorporating the green tab from specially-marked cans. The winner will receive $40,000 to help pay off their college debt, since six years in college gets expensive.

Fun provisions in the Official Rules:

  • Entry videos can be up to 20 minutes in length. (Nothing beats watching a drunk perform for 20 minutes.)
  • One judging criteria is “video personifies Natural Light lifestyle: spontaneous, fun and irreverent.” (See comment above.)

It’s Not the Icky Shuffle Because M&Ms Melt in Your Mouth and Not in Your Hands. M&Ms wants your 15-second best, original touchdown dance video.

  • No inappropriate, lewd, or indecent conduct. (Sorry, Gronk.)
  • No video “of animals being offered or ingesting Sponsor’s products.” (First, I know my dogs, “offered” means “ingested”, second, sorry PETA, but I would love to see a touchdown dance that works in a dog eating M&Ms.) [A few M&Ms won’t hurt a dog.]

The Wing Bowl. For the twenty-sixth year, a Philadelphia radio station is holding the Wing Bowl at the Wells Fargo Center on the Friday before the Super Bowl. And this year with the Eagles in the S.B., let’s just say Santa Claus will be glad to stay away. The Wing Bowl draws crowds of over 20,000 people. Last year’s winner “Notorious B.O.B.” ate a total of 409 wings in 10 minutes!

Fun provisions in Official Rules:

  • This year they are introducing a “First Responder’s Division.” (Apparently to speed up response time for contestants who happen to Mama Cass themselves.)
  • “Chicken meat must be eaten directly from the bones. Stripping the bones of meat first and eating the meat at one time will not be allowed.” (Dick Butkus approved this language.)
  • “Napkins in any form are not allowed.”
  • “If a participant purges or vomits at any point during the competition, he will immediately be disqualified.” (No exceptions for the flu?)

There you have it. The best contests America has to offer on Super Bowl Sunday. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!