Several years ago, I considered the following question asked 'What is the one change parents can make to improve the outcome of their divorce with children?'
My answer then is the same reply I would give today. Be united in the eyes of the children in respect of any decisions affecting the children and never put one parent down in front of a child. A child places his/ her parents on a pedestal. Do not shatter a child's dreams.
In respect of parenting, parents need to try to put aside their differences and agree to raise children that value the input of both parents.' Parenting after Parting classes and workshops' are a great initiative and clients should be made aware that they exist. More details appear on the Resolution-Family First website www.resolution.org.uk.
A child focused approach to divorce and separation will assist couples that no longer wish to be partners for life to deal with matters in a less acrimonious way. In my experience, going forward, parents future relationship with their children after separation is very important to them. Whilst finances can be built up, a shattered child- parent relationship is not so easy to build upon and can be damaging for all involved.
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, The Voice of Child Centered Divorce, has provided the following sound advice for separating couples:
'Remember to ask yourself some really important questions: Do I love my kids more than I dislike my ex? What will my kids say about how I handled post-divorce parenting when they're grown adults? This will keep you on target in putting their emotional and psychological needs first when making any parenting decisions following the divorce.'
The children of today are the adults of tomorrow. A Divorce is not their fault. Do Not make them feel or carry the burden that it is. You are parents for life. Make that count.
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