Four months after the European Court of Justice struck down the EU’s Data Retention Directive, the British Parliament has enacted a new law requiring communications providers to retain non-content data about phone calls, emails, and other electronic communications. While other EU member states struggle to determine the legal status of their own data retention laws in light of the ECJ’s ruling, the UK has acted quickly to ensure that communications providers do not start dumping data that might be needed for criminal or national security investigations. Winston Churchill (the author of While England Slept) would be proud. But communications providers will not be so happy ‒ and the data retention mandates are only the beginning of their concerns (once they realize that they should be concerned). The new law expressly extends to foreign communications providers Britain’s wiretap authority and its requirements to make their networks capable of implementing wiretap orders.