Communication difficulties are the root cause of many instances of divorce. For many parties, communication is tough. Communication might be strained. It might be adversarial. It might be that it has gotten to the point that neither side listens to the other.
When parties are not communicating and not listening, it is virtually impossible to settle a divorce. Parties often hear what they want to hear. They believe what they want to believe. It might be that the trust is gone.
This is where parties oftentimes need somebody to help communicate for them. This is where a neutral party might be able to take what one spouse is saying, reformulate it and deliver it in such a manner that the other party will actually listen.
When the listening begins, the actual settlement discussions can actually take place. When discussions take place, then parties can attempt to work through the issues relative to their divorce in an amicable and friendly manner.
This is where the divorce coach comes into the picture in collaborative. The divorce coach is a party who is trained in collaborative law. They also come from the mental health field. These individuals are trained to diplomatically and sensitively reformulate what the parties are saying so that the message can be delivered.
The divorce coach is an absolutely critical part of collaborative divorce. In traditional litigation, the parties are often figuratively still yelling over each other to the family court to try to get the result they want. When this takes place, the parties are often more at odds than when the process began.
But in collaborative divorce, the hope is that the parts can use this neutral divorce coach, in settlement meetings, to really help communicate the other spouse’s position in a manner where it will be better received. Sometimes, parties are often not good at explaining their position and their desires. This can be particularly true where the parties are divorcing.
The divorce coach is most certainly an important piece of the collaborative process. These individuals are trained to communicate in a manner that is friendly and diplomatic. Often as well, parties are more apt to listen to the message from a third party than the party whom they are divorcing.
If you are going through a collaborative divorce, and are having trouble communicating your hopes and desires, a divorce coach can often help.