(To the tune of “Santa Baby” by Joan Javits and Philip Springer)

Santa baby, slip a licence under the tree,
For me, been an awful good boy,
Santa cutie, no license fees and royalties please.

Think of all the fun I’ve missed,
Buying all my films and music legally.
I never stream my TV shows,
I watch them all on my cable TV.

Santa honey, 54 franchise outlets too,
All new, I’ll do anything dear,
Santa cutie, no franchise fees and royalties too.

Come and trim my maintenance fees,
To all of my patents and utilities.
Next year, I will be just as good,
If you pay all my renewal fees.

Santa baby, just one little thing that I need,
A deed, to a Forbes 100 mark.
Santa baby, assign that sexy trademark to me.