If, like me, you estimate that you’ve heard this holiday tune about a million times, then you have probably wondered on more than one occasion, what kind of gifts are these?  A partridge?  I don’t care that it comes with a pear tree. Hens? Geese? I mean, other than the five golden rings (to which I have no objection), there’s hardly a practical gift among the lot.

It got me to thinking about the perfect list of gifts for the human resources professional. So, in the spirit of holiday cheer, I offer up this list of the 12 perfect holiday gifts for our HR friends:

On the 1st day of Christmas, my employment lawyer gave to me…

Recruitment questions that I can ask which don’t violate human rights laws and still find me the perfect person.

On the 2nd day of Christmas, my employment lawyer gave to me…

An enforceable termination clause which limits payments to employment standards minimums.

On the 3rd day of Christmas, my employment lawyer gave to me…

A way to get my employees to sign employment contracts with the termination clause my employment lawyer gave me yesterday.

On the 4th day of Christmas, my employment lawyer gave to me…

A restrictive covenant that a judge will uphold.

On the  5th day of Christmas, my employment lawyer gave to me…

Something that will convince the Canada Revenue Agency that our “consultant”, Bob, is an independent contractor and not an employee.

On the 6th day of Christmas, my employment lawyer gave to me…

A way to avoid paying all of the unpaid overtime that I owe.

On the 7th day of Christmas, my employment lawyer gave to me…

A script for having sensitive conversations around accommodation of religion and family status.

On the 8th day of Christmas, my employment lawyer gave to me…

A way to avoid Ministry of Labour charges and a WSIB claim for that workplace accident we had last week.

On the 9th day of Christmas, my employment lawyer gave to me…

A way to demote someone without triggering a constructive dismissal.

On the 10th day of Christmas, my employment lawyer gave to me…

A policy which helps my employees really understand how to use social media without negatively impacting our business or the working environment.

On the 11th day of Christmas, my employment lawyer gave to me…

The secret to proving “undue hardship”.

And, on the 12th day of Christmas, my employment lawyer gave to me…

A bill for legal advice which didn’t blow my budget.

While some of the above may be a reach, employment lawyers can get you close to some of the things on the wish list above. So, when you’re thinking about gifts for yourself for 2015, consider talking to your employment lawyer.